I am so sorry that is happening. What a dreadful situation. I think keeping a record is a really good idea. I was in a situation like that a long time ago and I kept a voice activated recording device on me at all times. Not sure that is legal in America. I was not in the US of A when I did the recording.

Another possibility is trying to document everything in case things really go south. It sounds like a really unhappy place to be in.

Your expression "not my circus, not my monkeys" is new to me. I like it.

Wish I knew what to say that would help. Hopefully other members here with more experience, knowledge and insight will see your post and respond both kindly and really helpfully to you. I wish you only the very best!