Could it be that your friend is grieving in a different way - say, through denial of feeling emotions for someone that passed away recently? Some people push away emotions by denying they have it, such as when she said that she didn't really know the person when you mentioned her. That and the stress of this pandemic has caused a lot of people to distance themselves - both physically and relationally. People are afraid of loss, not just the virus. It's hard for people to get close to one another.

But if your friend was like this before the pandemic, then I could see how you got the red flag. Red flags seem to be our instincts, and they tend to warn us.

You have freedom to choose what is best for you. Some people grow apart, some people need a break, etc. The problem I see here is a lack of communication when friendships grow apart. Or perhaps you put more stock into the friendship than your friend did with you. It's not a balanced friendship, it seems. Typically, people have many friends in life. Some are closer than others. For the ones who are kind of yo-yo friendships, you kind of have to limit your expectations with them because they aren't going to be dependable.

There are many people with mental disorders and physical disorders who truly cannot be dependable friends, due to maybe their energy levels, their recurring intrusive thoughts, etc. It's painful and hard for them. I know this from my own personal experiences with DID, PTSD, and chronic fatigue syndrome. However, I do explain and hold conversations with people about why I can't just hang out anymore. But for me, it's with everyone - not just one person or the other. Then again, if I feel something isn't safe in the relationship, such as a friend trying to be more than friends when I repeatedly say no, that is where I draw the line. But that's a different scenario. Anyway, it could just be your friend has issues and is not able to manage the friendship or relationships with others well. It may hurt to lose a friend, but she's only being true to who she is - perhaps without realizing it. Still, you have to do what is right for you. If you distance yourself or say no instead of yes, chances are she will not take it in bad way. She'd probably only think that you're dealing with stuff; she wouldn't consider that it was something she did - unless you tell her.

The only way to repair relationships is through communication. It may not be obvious to her what she's doing, as you've observed her with other people, too. But then again, observations don't always mean truth when you don't know her relationships with other people, her issues that perhaps are kept secret, etc. The only way to find out is to ask her, instead of guessing based on observations. And then after you have that conversation, if she says something not pleasing to you, then you can for sure know that ending the friendship was a good idea, instead of leaving the friendship and wondering if your observations about her were correct or not. Sometimes all it takes is a conversation to strengthen a friendship, too.