To all:
I'm really not interested in keeping the door open at this time, though yes, she can be a distant friend who I expect nothing from. I need boundaries w her.
I actually HAVE talked to her in the past about my feelings about how she acts and how it hurts. A couple times. She always has a very nice explanation. She clearly isn't going to change. Like I said, I'm not interested in talking to her again. I'm not in a mental space to. I think I also am realizing...how little she really resonates with me, too, and I'm good just letting this go.
Yes, its likely I DID put more stock in her friendship than her in mine (edit: upon reflection, this does not feel accurate or resonate). I almost feel played with, like if she tries to talk to me and tell me personal things about herself at the store, that's how she reels me in, then asks me to get together or how I am...I'm going to not have it. And thank you Bill for the covid / pandemic excuse. Its a good one.
Disco, no, I dont feel exposed. I just felt hurt and frustrated.
Edit: I think I felt really flattered by her too. She has an impressive job title. I know it sounds superficial of me and likely was. I was like "omg she is choosing ME to be her friend." A lot of that is self esteem related. The truth is, and this is a lesson I an learning, who do *I* want to be friends with? Who resonates with me? Who raises green flags / no flags? Those are my people. People with impressive job titles and schooling should not get special considerations as friends, just because of that.