Perna and Kiya, unfortunately I can't wait to see how the course is going and then invite T later. The course is on one very intense weekend--Saturday and Sunday, 8 hours each day. The graduation is the last part of the course Sunday. If I wanted T to attend, I would have to invite him before I had experienced any of it.

I'm not even sure I really want to do this course. I did it because T suggested it and said it could be really valuable for me--empowering, teach me to set boundaries, etc. There have been things both he and my first therapist suggested I do that I didn't really want to, but yet, these things helped. Not all the time, but I do trust these professionals to sometimes know what might help me. For example, my T suggested EMDR when we first started together, and I did it, and it was tremendously helpful. I am taking this class because I hope it will be empowering as he suggests, not because I want to please him or because it is my top choice activity. I just want to get better so am willing to try a lot.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
But I think your T is going a bit overboard with his thrilldom that you are taking this course and that's setting up a bit of anxiety on your part

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Perna, I think you're right. You're so wise. When I told him I was going, he was overjoyed, and I do not exaggerate. He just thought this was the best thing in the world for me. He tried to share his excitement about this, but somehow I didn't feel included. It was a moment that he wanted us to be connected on, but the harder he pushed (the more enthusiastic he was), the more I felt the need to withdraw and get a little space. When he said he was so overjoyed he "wanted to give me more than a hug", I felt pleased because I love his hugs, but yet I felt like it was too much, too pushy, too one-sided. I know he just wants me to have this great experience, but I need space to have that. Another strange thing, was that he wanted to share the news that I was going to take the course with a mutual acquaintance, and he asked my permission. He was just so excited, he wanted to spread the good news.