Whilst I'm not saying the other posters are wrong, when I read your second one and discovered who you were talking about, Bill3's response seemed the most apt.

We all deal with sympathy, compassion, empathy, etc in different ways. Either as the giver or receiver. Whether we have mental/physical health problems, or not. Whether we are in a close relationship (marriage) or just concerned for a friend.

Perhaps your wife wants to be in control, voice her feelings without being prompted. It's difficult to just keep quiet when you can see/hear that she is hurting. You are walking a very fine line between caring too much and caring too little