I know you mean well but stuff like this feels patronizing to me . I like to be supported without necessarily verbalizing it in a manner of “oh poor you”.

I had quite a bit of death and illness in my family last few years and what I find supportive and helpful is when my husband gets things done so I don’t have to worry about it. Like if he drives us in the storm to get to the hospital or if he gets the food so we don’t have to cook. Or if he does something fun with me to get my mind of things.

Telling me he is sorry or how it’s so hard for me, wouldn’t be helpful. I find it curious that you don’t know how your wife wants to be supported. How well do you know each other?