I've been a one man show for long stretches. Years.

She's gone for months unable to leave the house due to physical and mental illness.

I do home work with kids, make meals, do laundry, earn our income, and have attended all but probably 3 of her doctor appointments in the last 10 years. I've supported her in multiple attempts to get diplomas, including sitting with her to type up her papers.

She's told me she knows I'm always going to look after things. She says she wants emotional support.

To me, saying

"Because I know it was bothering you that your sibling is moving away and they and your parents made Christmas plans that excluded you from being able to take part. I know that hurt"

Isn't saying "Oh poor you."

I haven't been able to find the balance of what to say.

I've received anger, loud anger, for hours, being told I'm emotionally clueless and don't see all she deals with.

When I do voice what I see it can sometimes be countered with defensiveness.

I'll try a softer approach I guess.