It's no secret I haven't been doing good. I spent over 1k trying desperately to distract myself from my depression. I was asked if I was suicidal today and said no but I'm wondering if that's what I'm distracting myself from. My head's loud, I can't think, I'm wearing headphones so I can even type. I think I might have a tinge of paranoia because I was pretty sure walking into that room I wasn't going to go home. But I was just asked if I was anxious which I said yes. He asked if I wanted to keep it the same, I said yes, so he asked 5 yes or no questions which all were no and I was done, got to go. Only real question that were directed towards my illnesses was the anxiety and suicidal thoughts.

I went with my hair not brushed for months, I've spent like crazy, I'm paranoid, hearing things and feeling bugs but when I'm nervous I smile, I know bad habit. Anyway I'm worried in 2 months or so. I'll skate through with only 15 min appointment with my pdoc. He's going to be stern about being so late picking up my meds/injection but I may just shut down. It's easier for me to skate by on the phone because I'm use to my chipper phone voice.

So my question is given all that should I go back to therapy. I'd have to be in person and I currently don't leave the house except for my injection. They've gone back in person and I'm still not comfortable with in person. I just don't know.