Little bit of a rant.



My friends know I have PTSD. They know I don't like to talk about it. So we don't talk about it. They're my friends and it would be weird to talk about it with them.
But that doesn't mean they should pretend I don't have it.

They must try to think of each and every one of my triggers and somehow incorporate it into conversation Maybe I'm invisible and so is my suffering and that can't see how badly they're triggering me, or I don't matter enough to not be triggered so often.

Last night I was trembling, I couldn't talk, I was hearing my dad's voice again and I could feel it. I was freaking out. So what does my friend say?



He laughs and says 'Vince, man, you look really stupid right now! Take a chill pill!". I wanted to yell and scream but I had to stay silent.

And on the rare occasion they notice how badly I'm suffering, they pester me with questions. They won't stop asking questions. Do they really think the best time for me to answer questions I don't want to answer in the first place is when I'm reliving all of this in my head?


How can they blow it off like that. They don't care that they trigger me. I've even told them to change what they're talking about when I'm around and they always just laugh. When they're mad at me for whatever reason they take low shots at me and make insults making fun of my trauma. The only time they register that I have PTSD is when it comes time to insult me

I don't like myself very much but I think I deserve a little better then this But who am I kidding? I've always been treated like dirt. People are such idiots in real life. Can't I get a LITTLE bit of peace? It's far too much to ask for it would seem As if I don't get enough nightmares and flashbacks as it is.