I've having a flashback just of everything like a memory that over time just turned it blackness. However the feeling there the confusion the abuse all of it. Like it's not even the memory itself that bothers me it's just that I feel like there's all these dark souls and people saying ****ing **** but they dont know me. I'm angry and feel combustible there's so many emotions and etc that comes with PTSD. Then now there's some random hateful troll that wants to call me obese and ugly. Like it's ****ing sad like **** you. However it's not just that I feel ****ing ignored, betrayed lonely confused. Just triggered for what ever reason and not being able to sleep like. Haven't I been though enough. Like fake friendships and freaking men that like even more damaged like me... My point is I feel like everyone wants to use me. All these ****ing people that wanted to use me but I'm the one that's not good enough. Like honestly just seems like you want to blame me when your the one with a guilty conscience. This girl on the internet thinks that being sexualised by men are a good thing. Does it feel ****ing good when you feel controlled in by some ****ing asshole that beats up your mother and uses her for sex. Like no you don't have that scar and even if you did you don't have to be a ***** on the internet. I never went after random women on the internet why should I have to put up with abuse from anyone. Especially someone that doesn't even know me. Just so freaking dumb making an account. Like and yeah I don't have ****ing true friends and I'm pretty sure every guy I ever knew freaking used me to. Honestly I don't even care just ****ing want everyone to leave me alone.