Therapy went decently. It was telehealth this week for some reason. She was kind of in a mood. I didnt take it as being moody towards me. Just moody in general. She didnt want to talk about covid. She said it wasn't important to me. It is though so I asked if it scared her. Because maybe she doesent like to talk about it for her own personal reasons. But she just B'Sed around that question too. We did talk about if me not going back to work is because of an anxiety thing or really is because of how bad covid is. I admitted non covid anxiety things were part of things but I was also waiting to see how things play out next month

So it was a mildly succesful session. I got 4 hours of sleep and my anxiety is through the roof from not having the geodon 20. So my mom called my pdocs office and said we just misplaced a few. Then she explained the 80 mil one that was my pdocs mistake. The guy talked to the on call pdoc and called back right away and was like "ok yeah we just sent a 30 day prescription over to the pharamcy for both of them" Zero questions asked about why or how the 20mil got misplaced. But now I do know to be careful since the misplaced thing will only work once.

I guess I didnt have an appointment set up with him and his next appointment isnt until the middle of March. I do feel stable on the meds and doses I'm currently on so I don't feel a need to really see him so I'm ok waiting that long. He'll just refill the meds I'm already on through the phone. Plus he always says something dumb that makes me regress about my transference T.

But my 20 geodon is ready now. The pharmacy just called. I am so ready to be back on that and get my sleep back on track so other things will follow.

At the end of the session my therapist told me the next time I have a scheudeling email just say I want to cancel/reschedule. Not why. I dont need to go into so much detail. since it sounded like I was in a crisis last night and she knows I have a history of sending those types of emails to other therapists.yeah she was a bit *****y today to be honest but I think everyone has the same holiday and covid burnout/fatigure