Holyyy ****. My parents fighting. We're all messed up and need therapy.

I don't even have the energy to explain. It goes so deep and it's so complex that we're all just like "ffuuk". My mom goes into the kitchen, takes a bottle of wine and brings it to her room.

But we all love each other as a family.

It's so much nonsense. My parents are traumatized. My sister feels bad that I have to deal with this stuff and that she moved out.

My dad is only visiting for the holidays - He came here for me. He questions the way my mom shouts my name, me, wanting to be independent, the control, the karma, my grandmother (My dads mom) that broke up my parents marriage.

My grandmother on my dads side is an evil twisted *****.

My mom is very strong, holding it all together. But in denial. She knows that.. and is a feminist. My dad has money, but is alone, working in the mine all his life and his parents traumatized him - He had to leave too.

It's a real strain on my brain, talking philosophically to my sister on the phone. This is why human cognition evolved to be so intelligent - Cuz of the social complexity.

I talk about politics, the schizophrenia label - That I should be treated like anyone else now... I needed help - But holy ****.. My moms ex sure didn't help. The level at which my awareness appears in the moment is just slightly above this world that allows me to handle everything and keep sane. It's like God is testing me - I try so hard. We all do, mostly everyone in this life. It's hard. Not easy one bit.

But I'm sleep tomorrow will be OK. My mom will go to work and have a **** day probably but time will pass and things will get better. It doesn't help that we're in a plandemic and in society or empire collapse of civilization.