This thing is a big hurt.

Nice title when I think about it. This 'thing'. This 'life' upon this 'earth' within this 'city' within this 'State' within this 'Country'.

Nice title.

I had a family. It wasn't a big one. Only had me, my mom, my uncles and aunts and their children. My grandmother passed away in my mom's home while I was living in a group home near by due to my 'getting kicked out' because of my religious fanaticism. My mom understood how much He meant to me but when she wasn't willing to give what she knew meant alot to me a chance to listen about, and the more she allowed me to not know this, the more I spoke and the more she had that irritation build up within her. One day, she had enough, I had enough and I was 'kicked out'. But not on the streets, but rather to a place she thought I could be around like minded persons. And so she purchased/donated a spot for me in a faith-based rehab program. A place where like minded believers facing trouble in 'this' world could go and be around other like minded believers. And so I really thought it was a good idea myself. But when getting there, it was nothing but the same. Their hopes on how to get better within 'this' thing they were within. And so I started to learn. I started to learn how an individual is only worthy something to self and maybe even family, small or large, when they can be something or someone they can live with and by being someone their 'loved' ones can live with/tolerate. Within 'this' thing, the 'thing' which separated friends and family was 'that' thing. 'This' world with 'that and this' thing required to be accepted. And so when I began hearing how 'their' faith was directed to how they wanted 'their' Goodness in 'this' thing, I started to learn that God was about 'this' thing; 'this' State, 'this' Country, 'this' city, 'these' needs and opportunities and 'these' inabilities. But it had nothing to do with 'Them'. It had everything to do with 'these' and 'this' and 'that' and 'those' but nothing to do with 'Them'. And so slowly I began to see life differently. Not with 'this' or 'that' or 'these' or 'those' but of 'this' and 'that' and 'these' and 'those' that innocent little children have no choice to either be within or not. Little ones having no choices to 'their' own 'things'... And so as they grow up, they will also have to live within 'these' and 'those' and 'this' and 'that' thing which causes so much hurt. And to me this was just not fair. This had nothing to do with 'Them' in any way except to have the recycling of 'hurts' be maybe forever and in each generation until the end of time. So while being kicked out of the home, I was learning that 'family' is not about 'these' or 'those' or 'this' or 'that'. That 'family' had nothing to do with 'these' except IF 'they' chose to be and if 'they' chose to teach the same. But 'family' had nothing to do with 'this' or 'that' or 'pain' or 'hurts' from day one. This and that and these and those did but 'family' was not a this or a that or a these or a those. It was real life, it was real blood, it was real together. All those other 'things' were about 'other' lives and about 'their' needs... and as family being around all these 'others' with 'their' needs, family learns to have 'those' needs of 'theirs' become needed in 'family'..

And so from this more pain and more separation from family occurred to the point of being family-less due to 'this' thing which causes so much hurt.