Today I got a visit by my brother’s children. They were away on a trip for a couple of days. Both of them were so happy to see me and hugged me for very long time. We ate some food, then pancakes and played some video games for children. Even if they are still small, they both seems to understand what I have and what I battle against each and every day. So they always make me in good mood. They love also that I read to them so I do that too sometimes. Also, we play outdoors too and having fun. Or going playing football/soccer when the weather allows.

But just as the night arrives and when I’m going to bed, no matter how great day went, the anxiety comes. Not that perhaps in massive portions, but still. It’s there. So I refocus, thinking now of the day, how fun I had with those children. And that next adventure is just waiting around the corner. Also breathing deeply if needed - not in squares (yet). When their mom picked them they told me that they will celebrate the New Year with me. I was then afterwards buying one non alcoholic wine for me, my bother and his wife along with non alcoholic champagne. Also some non alcoholic beer who had - weirdly enough - flavour of mango (!). I’ve tasted non alcoholic beer with little flavour of pear, but mango!? I prepared some good food too, my brother’s girlfriend will bring also some. But hey, that’s more than three positive things that happened to me today!

Also on the positive side: I don’t have nightmares anymore. It is a relief for me, knowing that I can relax before I go to sleep and then just dream. Perhaps they come when you’re in some rough periods. Probably. Tomorrow then? Nope, no fireworks this year either because it’s just silly to burn up your money in some pyros. Some colours here and there and *puff* - money gone.

I haven’t made any promise for the next year. And to be honest, I don’t know what I’ll promise about. Sometimes it’s better to not make any promises at all unless you 100% know for sure that you’ll complete them. But, I do promise (50%) that - when Covid-19 and it’s moronically mutations halts a bit - go for some dates and meet people. At least 50%, so I have some margins IF I don’t completely proceed that promise. Go out, have a good cup of latte chai and enjoy the life.

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