Why be with someone, or feel guilt and so much upset(?!) when in your own words you explain
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we wouldn't have much physical contact and being honest he wouldn't attract me physically as much as I would like..
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Why be in a relationship that is unsatisfying? You don't owe your ex anything - and most certainly no obligation to go back to him because he
begs you to.
The "mistake" would be for you to settle for someone you are not attracted to and who does not fulfil your needs.