This has been the worst year of my life...
So far.

As a mocking reminder
A reminder to solidify
That you're not
That we're not
Together
Right now
Currently
I have to listen to the fireworks and be scared without you.
There won't be any new picture of us tonight to bring in this new year
We won't get to hold each other and fall asleep in each other's arms.
My arms are just constantly empty
I just don't care about much of anything anymore.
I hate myself for wanting you here when you were soo sick. (I just wish that I could know that you were happy, loved, and okay now)
I hate myself for not being able to save you.
I hate myself for not being able to provide a better life for you

I hate myself because I'm not with you now

I hate it all
Now
I hope that you have someone and/or something to hold you tonight and further on.

Since I can't anymore
Since I cant anymore
Since I can't anymore