I'm doing good today mood wise. Anxiety wise it comes and goes but I'm still on track with my valium. I am exhausted despite getting a lot of sleep and having a lot of caffeine this morning. I am also very cold and I have the hood to my hoodie up plus I'm wearing a hat. I suspect I have some sort of vitamin defiency but nothing major. My weight went from 172 at Christmas to 166 today. But I was on those 3 meds that caused hunger. So I assume the weight is just a med thing but my appetite is very low. But it could also be all the zero sugar sodas I'm drinking to help me stay awake that is supressing my appetite. I want to lose weight though so I don't really mind the weight issue and how its happening.

My mom is at the store buying vegetables and she found me the new zero sugar Mountain Dew. I've stopped hoarding soda and I've started just drinking what I have. I don't have much anymore compared to what I used to have. I just this morning finished my case of watermelon zero sugar Mountain Dew so finding this new stuff works out nicely. Although I don't feel quite as bad about my soda collection after seeing my brother in laws action figure collection. Now that is nothing but hoarding and my mom says it is too.

So I'm doing ok I'm just a bit under the weather and I am thinking a bit of january 2020 when we first found out about covid and I was super sick most likely with covid. I am also thinking about the therapist I had at that time and all the crap we went through with the remote sessions. I still kind of miss her.

I've noticed like just in these past few days that I am really looking masculine now and its making me super happy.

So I think today I may just have general seasonal depression stuff about stuff that went on 2 years ago mixed in with a bit of legit physical stuff.