I can relate to this too!

I've always felt an outsider in my family, with my younger brother the favourite child. My mother claims her mother favoured my aunt (her sister). Having little self-esteem, she tries to inflict this on others, seeing it as the natural way to behave. As a result, she has a closed mind.

Perhaps it's a result of the pandemic and/or meeting a new friend, but I've had an awakening. Even being a 60+ adult has contributed to my change of attitude. In recent conversation with my aunt, in which I corrected a lot of what my mother said, her final comment meant so much. "Now I know it's not all you". At last, someone in the family understands!

I understand it is difficult for you to leave but you need to, for your health and self-esteem. It will be hard at times but if you have a positive support network in place, then you can do it.

You are not at fault. You are not allowed to be an individual. It's also difficult to understand why the person who nurtured you can't accept you are an individual. I wish you well