I’m very sorry, Agent, that you are going trough all this. Sure you feel like a failure, as the black sheep in the family, somehow.

There’s nothing wrong from you with asking or expecting some kind of comprehension from your relatives.
I asure you that your brother doesn’t f@king know how you are feeling or what you are going through. Maybe, some day, he will go throw a bad time and realised how unfair he was with you by being so rude.
I can only explain his attitude with you from his ignorance.

“ You are messing our family up” these were the words from my brother.
I wanted to be under Earth and disappear when I heard these words.

Sure you are much more understanding and sensitive because of your psychological issues and your struggles. I’m sure of it. You would go to your brother and asked: What’s up? How are you doing? I’m here. Count with me.

Well, I tell you. Merry Christmas and I wish a good New Year. How are you doing? What can I do to help you? Tell me how you are feeling.
Is there any possibility that you visit your family doctor to ask for an appointment with a psychiatrist? You deserve some kind of support and begin to treat your illness. I guess you are afraid to go out and expose yourself to these fears but you need your illness to be recognised. Not only because there is the possibility for you to make progress but also because you can’t do it, maybe, your illness may be recognise and the Government can give you an aid or something. Your situation is very tough. So, I ask you for consider yourself. You are valuable and I want you to fight to show it.