Thanks. Merry Christmas and happy new year.

I am not doing well. I spend my day sleeping and crying. I feel very weak and my self-confidence is nonexistent. I avoid going out for anything but for groceries once a week. A visit to the doctor means I take public transportation. But I am also don't see any help from a psychiatrist. They would probably prescribe some pills to me. I would benefit from the talking though. I feel when I talk I feel better. Sometimes I record messages to send to my family, but once I finished the recording, I'd delete them, because I usually feel better.

That's where family can help me: by talking to me. Not about my problems and telling me you are basically crazy. Just a casual talk and by asking about me. The small things make a difference. But it's easier for them first not to ask, and second when I reach out because I am lonely they tell me go and see a doctor.

I am very disappointed by them. I thought they would at least be understanding about my situation and struggle, but from their talk they outright blame me. I immigrated to a new country, and I have lost myself in the process. I am still not established in the new country and struggle, and I have lost my connections back home. I feel I have lost my identity. I no longer know who I am and where I belong. And to add to all of this, I lost my faith. It was my resort when I felt lonely and down in the past, but now I have no one and nothing to turn to.