I'm so sorry someone hurt your feelings, @Deilla



I hope that you feel better and can focus on the other positive, supportive, validating, and caring people.

Some people just suck - or they are dealing with their own stuff that they try to project that onto other people. Who knows, but it's hard being on the receiving end of that.

I've had such people in my life. I would either try to communicate, ghost, end the relationship with an explanation, or keep the relationship - but at a far distance. Some people may not know how to engage properly with others, so they say things that are inappropriate. What makes it harder is when it brings up past triggers for you, or when the relationship means a lot to you and the person has let you down (often times again and again). It's hardest when the person is family or a significant other.

I hope you are able to find ways to "contain" that experience by journaling and then putting that journal entry into a fancy "container box" that you don't open until you speak with your therapist next. That's the approach to "pacing and containing" our trauma triggers and other triggers. That way, you can say that all the stuff you are feeling and had experienced is safely tucked away into a box. What's left outside is only the safe stuff - things that you can see, taste, smell, feel, and/or hear - that keeps you safe, grounded, and in the here-and-now (without the mean things that person said). You can always revisit it later, or even briefly when describing it here or with safe, trusted friends/family. But limit yourself to the negative things (such as news, reminders, bad memories, grief processing) to the middle of the day and only for a few minutes at a time. You don't want to go to bed upset, and you don't want to wake in the morning to upsetting things. The afternoons could be reserved for dealing with the toughest things, and you can limit those (pace and contain) for about an hour or less.

The rest of your day can then focus on self-care, coping skills, your kind friends, things you enjoy doing, etc., even if it is tough and painful to come out of feeling hurt. You can do it! The more you practice this, the better your life will be at dealing with the pains that life brings us sometimes, and the discernment of where others might be coming from when they have problems - not you, but then they try to project it onto you or something. People can find kinder ways of saying things. But sometimes we aren't the ones to teach them that.

Hang in there, my friend.

(((hugs)))