I know that when I was on a lot of medications that dulled my feelings I would work myself up so I COULD feel. I didn't do it on purpose but looking back on it I know I was trying to save a part of me that was lost to the meds.

I also worked myself up to self injure because I needed someone to notice me even though it was only me who knew of my self injury because I kept it hidden.

Now I am off meds and don't self injure and I still get worked up. It frustrates me because I have worked so hard and accomplished so much but I still have anxiety issues and sort of jump out and bite me in the behind big time.
Zen