We had a good therapy session discussing the icky feelings we get - sometimes in dreams when our alters are in the dreams experiencing icky stuff. The T helped us to see that we're not icky, even though it's hard for us to feel not icky. The helper alters inside help the littles know that it's the abusers who were the icky ones who did bad things.

We are working more together. We discussed how some alters are working more with one another and how some are alike, but also how they differ.

We feel better talking about things in bits and pieces, and our T knows how to talk with us about stuff that is icky.

We also talked about other things like the political stuff that worries us, and how there was some webinar talking about how the extremist groups in our area were threatening some people (not us, but others in our state), which then triggered us and our system because we live in this state with those groups. But then we realized that those groups are not as big, and that is also what this webinar discussed, and how there are more people against the extremists. It's scary that these conversations are taking place locally, but we decided not to watch those webinars anymore because they just keep us freaked out.

We know people are fighting the extremists, and that's all we needed to know. We don't need to know details or sign up to go to some dangerous legislature; we just needed to know that there's a group of good people trying to fight against the extremist stuff going on.

But then all that affects our system, and so then we dissociate and different parts come out. Our T knows about those different parts. Our T listens to whomever comes out. She sometimes asks who is out, and other times she guesses. Sometimes she guesses correctly, sometimes we have to tell her who is out.

We've been working together more though - just communicating inside. We thought there was an alter with an alter, but it's only just one alter instead of a double-alter. The alter was able to work things out over the course of a year with our T, which helped the alter to feel more whole and not as split off into two parts of herself. But there are many other alters. The alters are all working together more with one another and also with me, though with me they take things more slowly in their approach.

It's hard sometimes to process what the alters say or feel - or even dream.

The icky dream really caught me off guard.