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SprinkL3
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Heart Jan 05, 2022 at 09:06 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lifeistoopainful View Post
Thank you for sharing your experience SprinkL3. I wonder why you gave your daughter up for adoption. I have been trying to conceive for less than a year with no luck. Meanwhile depression came back and I am put on meds again.
My main concern is regarding fertility. I have heard that these drugs can lead to infertility. If it's possible to conceive while being on antidepressants/antipsychotics.
I think it is possible to conceive while on psychotropic meds. I used to work with a mentor whose daughter has schizophrenia, and her daughter was able to get pregnant a few times while on antipsychotics.

The best person to see about that would be both your psychiatrist and a fertility doctor (or OBGYN, for starters).

I placed my daughter for adoption because of my dissociative disorder and PTSD, though I had no idea at the time that I had a dissociative disorder. My symptoms of losing time and having strange voices inside my head coupled with flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms were enough to tell me that I couldn't do motherhood alone, and that I didn't want my daughter to suffer with me. I was also facing homelessness, so I had very little support. I found a really good couple to adopt my daughter, but they wound up divorcing about 10 or more years after the adoption. The adoptive mom still keeps in touch with me, and she says that our daughter still visits her adoptive father, since that's the only father she knows. My daughter is now in college - first semester. She's studying psychology, and I'm so proud of her! She has done really well in high school, and I heard she is doing well in college, too. She even joined a sorority!

I've not yet reconnected with my daughter, and she doesn't know me at all yet. But we will hopefully meet soon via Zoom. I'm so nervous.

Adoption is a painful decision. I've never been officially treated for any of that, as I wanted the adoption funding to all go to my daughter. So I never got counseling for that, or for what would have been best in terms of the type of adoption. I honestly think that a closed adoption would have been less painful for all of us.

If you do have support - stability in finances and your mental health maintenance, relational support from family and friends and hopefully a significant other, and other support systems within your community (such as knowing safe babysitters and/or respite providers and/or daycare centers, etc.), then you are well prepared to plan for a baby. If you lack support, however, then you will need to find good support while you're planning for a baby.

Support for fertility is also needed.

My half-brother and his wife found much support with their infertility issues while they were planning for years to raise a family. They were unsuccessful in their having a baby naturally, so they decided to adopt. Most of their kids are now in college, and one remains in high school, I think.
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Lifeistoopainful
 
Thanks for this!
Lifeistoopainful