Ah yes. The deep-diving into psyche is definitely something that I miss. Not sure how to replace that outside of your four walls... except maybe via journey to speak with FW, but of course that would have to be short and with focused intention. Y'know it kinda works too just to go out into the desert and connect with the energy there, but that's a different kind of conversation.

I do wish I'd asked you about a check-in phone call in like March or something, after 3 months on my own.... Maybe I'll just do it anyway, if I still want to, of course. You can always not pick up when you see my name - that is, if you haven't already deleted me from your contacts by then. Actually I don't even know if you have my name on your phone, maybe you just recognized my phone # or something because every time I called, you have always answered "Hi, Artie!" I don't know, I never bothered to ask.

I'm getting there. I rarely get those 'i miss you' feelings during the day now. At night, yes. Why is it that everything not good is amplified at night?! Less distractions, I guess.


I can think forward now, about the possibility of never seeing you again, and not feel that hollow emptiness in my stomach that I used to get when I would think of that possibility. Sure, we live in the same town and all, so technically I could run into you at Costco again or whatever but not super likely cuz it's a BIG town. I mean since 2015 I've run into you outside of your office exactly twice.