I will never be the same.
There will always be a larger hole in my heart that will never be filled.
I'm empty and numb still
I still cry and meltdown every single day multiple times a day and night on an endless rotation

I feel guilty even mourning you or missing you .It feels wrong to do so. It feels selfish, and no matter how hard I try for it not to become and shift towards my own guilt and guilty conscience, and need to rewind time and stop it to a point where you were healthy, thriving, and hopefully happy,

I can only imagine the amount of pain and confusion you were in during your last days. I wish that you weren't.


I am missing you,
The world is apocalyptic
Breaths are full of radiation
Without you.
I still love you always,
I hope that you knew/know that

How much longer until I'm with you again?