09/18/21 · Edited
It's another day again, to be honest that isn't something I look forward to anymore without you. Last night, you or some impersonation came to me in a way that I cannot accurately decipher. Was it a nightmare, dream, reality, or combination? In the dream I remember the way we use to cuddle would soon turn into you soon positioning yourself for a belly rub. You were gleefully on your back, and all of a sudden you started choking and seizing uncontrollably. Your face was plastered with a terrified horrific look. You were in excruciating pain. It was 3am there. I didn't know who to call or what to do. In all the years that I was undeserving but graciously blessed to have you in my life, you've never had a seizure, or choked to the extreme...
I woke or the vision finally stopped up crying and in fear. This is about the 4th dream or vision of terror that I've had since your departure or separation. Are you reaching out to me? Are you warning me or showing me what's happening in your hereafter? I miss you terribly and furiously. I hope that I was loved by you. Where are you? Are you happy now? Are you loved or hated? Please tell me what I should do for us to be reunited. Should I try and lead a "virtuous" life that appeases the Universe, or should I lead a disapproving life? If you're in a terrible place, realm, or state of being now, I will commit heinous acts and "sins" just to be reunited with you, we can go through it together for all eternity, or until I can save you...or be permanently erased trying.