Everything is terrible.
Every day is worse than the previous.
I cry, and have flashbacks all day every day.
Wouldn't want you back if you are truly happy and without pain now.
Wouldn't want you back just to watch you die again, or for you to watch me die and have to deal with life without me.
I am the only one who cares.
I'm scared that you may haunt me
It's even scarier if you don't

For the rest of my life.

I love you
Your absence is killing me.