Post-Awakening Challenges: The Lost Gray World of Apathy

"In the form of spiritual apathy regarding indecisive, your old self wants one thing, and your new sense of self wants a different thing. This happens a lot. The old impulse to drink wine with your girlfriends comes up, and another impulse to go to a new yoga community gathering comes up. They both have an attraction to you, but it makes it hard to decide. The old ego still wants to do what it always has. The new desire to investigate a yoga gathering isn’t that strong yet, and it probably is running up against the fear of the unknown. So the person feels very indecisive."

"Another form of apathy that can arise is simply from energy depletion. It’s a lot of work at times to dissolve deeply held issues and ego attachments. With a true spiritual awakening, a lot of stuff gets pushed up all at once. It requires a lot of energy to process what is being understood on the mind, heart, body, and energy levels all at once. With all your energy dedicated to this transformation, you may find that you have no energy left to be interested in much of anything else."

Chronic Fatigue and Spiritual Awakening

"So you get the idea. The fatigue is coming from lack of energy or rather, a lack of energy for doing anything but transforming. You actually have tons of energy, but it's otherwise pre-occupied. It's kinda like having 20 GB of RAM, but it's all being used right now. Your computer can't do anything else until the first set of operations are done. But just because you do get a little energy from time to time to do more things doesn't mean that you should do lots of things during this time period. Do what you have to, and then trust that the rest will attend to itself."