Last week, I FB messaged a small group of new friends (we met in person this summer at a social event and joined each other's FB where we regularly communicate to each other through messenger) that I thought it would be great to use a FB room for a video birthday chat for my birthday. The friends agreed.

Last night all but one of the friends joined. When I asked where the missing friend was, one of the mutual friends made an excuse for where the missing friend was, "Oh, she just bought new boots so maybe she's distracted with those."

I'm pretty miffed that this woman chose not to message me beforehand to at least say she wasn't going to be on the video call; or afterward to explain why she missed it. All she gave me was silence. And she's married in her late 40s.

Now, I could just leave it and defriend her and her husband. That's the easiest solution and explain to our mutual friends why she's no longer my friend (not that they'd have to guess as they were there to see my miffed reaction to her absence on my birthday call).

But I'm curious if anyone has a good response or two I could message to this woman. I thought about writing her a message that's BIFF (brief, informative, friendly and firm).

Tell me what you think:

"Dear _______,

I missed you at my virtual birthday video call with our mutual friends. What happened? My feelings are hurt that you didn't reach out to tell me you wouldn't be there.

So-and-so said she spoke to you and said you were busy with your new boots.

I also saw on FB afterward, that you were posting dog videos on your page during my birthday call.

Since you didn't message me at all on my birthday, I am confused by your choices. Makes me feel like you don't respect my friendship.

- Motts"