Quote:
Originally Posted by Motts
This "friend" just messaged me with a list of excuses why she didn't join in on my virtual FB video call. She claims "video calls" weird her out, yet she has no problem posting videos of her with her dogs on her FB page. She also waited until the last sentence to write, "sorry if I hurt your feelings," which comes across like an afterthought. After her long list of excuses, a short "sorry IF I hurt your feelings," as though to claim she doesn't think she did hurt my feelings, with the "IF".
A real friend wouldn't have just been a no-show. Or at the very least respected my feelings enough to reach out to say she didn't want to participate in the video call, then make the choice of wishing me a happy birthday and validating the friendship with "I'm so glad we're friends," qualify that she respects my friendship.
What's the best response other than no response? I really am pissed now.
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I wonder if her idea of this friendship is different than yours.
theres many kinds of friendships..
Acquaintances are people you just met and havent really built up a history together. I can go to a party and tap elbows, sit down, have a drink and something to eat and a friendly chat but that doesnt make them by best friend buddy buddy come into my home via skype or zoom. I dont know their history or what ever. I just know them from a party kind of friend. thats an example of an acquaintance friend.
maybe thats what this person thinks happened. you were introduced to each other, spent a bit of time together at an event and back to your own lives again with an occasional email or two along the way.
Video calling weirds many people out. its very different than posting a video of a pet. with posting a video of a pet the person doing the videoing has all the control, they can pick and choose where and when, editing and so on.
but video calling that isnt as secure. and the persons involved have no idea whether the other person in the video call is recording them, or doing things they shouldnt be doing behind the camera, who is somewhere unseen, and most people with video calling have to do the video calling in their private homes. nothing like inviting a stranger you just met to come on into your home, looking at your decorations, your laundry, or your living room or bedroom. not many people would invite strangers they just met to video call.
My suggestion is give it some time. pass emails between you, get to know each other better and understand that this person has a family and friends outside of this group of yours. So emails may not come right away. take your time and hopefully this acquaintence will become more of a friendship and if it doesnt thats ok too.