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Old Jan 07, 2022, 09:21 AM
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,749
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer View Post
If you see someone going through a truly difficult time; a health issue, illness of a child, loss of a loved one, and you reach out to them because you feel for them, and they say

"Don't feel sorry for me."

"Don't pity me."

What are you supposed to do?

What does that even mean?

I got this recently when talking to someone and I said, "I know your family got together for Christmas and they excluded you. I've been worried about you and want to make sure you're ok."

The person admitted it was really hard but then said this stuff quite defensively.

Jeez.... I've been through some bad times. I'd have appreciated it if someone saw it and reached out to. I've not forgotten those who did.

Can any of you shed some light on this?

RDMercer
You probably didn’t mean to, but it’s likely that you accidentally came off as condescending. No one likes being pitied as if they’re a child, I’ve politely turned people away for that. In fact, that plays a big part in why I’m reluctant to tell friends personal stuff since I don’t want the pity and want to be treated normally. I’m sure your intentions were good and caring, but next time it may be best to just ask how you are in a better way.
Hugs from:
divine1966
Thanks for this!
divine1966