Ok, so I finally managed to terminate my current T a few days ago and will start with a new T on Tuesday. The thing is, after I officially terminated I began to feel a bit sad and even depressed. Even if it was something I really wanted to do.
Yeah, I guess my T wasn’t a bad person, just not a good fit for me. And I would often get frustrated at how bland and tasteless things were with her. And plus, she was not an OCD specialist (or an ADHD one for that matter).
I mean, it definitely isn’t as bad as when I grieved when I lost my first T (I had crying spells for 3 weeks after she terminated), but I noticed that the feelings were somewhat similar.
Maybe it’s from a fear of change, or from the fact that I am not used to actively quitting things or leaving people, but why would I feel sad over terminating with a T that I have wanted to terminate for a while now!? I should feel completely relieved like a weight has been lifted upon me!
I just hope it doesn’t impact the way I connect with my upcoming T
|