Mostly, I'm in the house by myself hiding from COVID. I can't keep doing this. I figure the next few weeks will be the peak of the surge.

Even when the "surge" winds down, there will still be risk. Being around people is going to involve some risk probably for years to come. That really bothers me. I'm retired, so I'm not forced to leave my home to go to work. Instead, I can stay here feeling safe. But this is not how I planned on living when I retired. There were so many things I looked forward to doing. A lot of those things aren't even available to do.

I'll worry about COVID every day from now on. My health is quite decent, but I've had pneumonia twice in my life. I never smoked, but I'm prone to getting very sick when I contract any respiratory illness. Weak lungs run in my family. So I worry I might not recover from COVID as easily as a lot of people manage to do. This anxiety about COVID is taking over my life.