I think people were surprised of intensity of your reaction to this. Also looks like we all misunderstood what happened. So it turns out what you described in your original post is not what happened?

Your original post states that you thought it would be great if everyone had a chat on your birthday, you proposed and they agreed and then one didn’t show up. I had to reread it again to make sure I didn’t misread.

It turns out she was the one who proposed it and more so she was the one to “set up” the meeting. If that’s the case then it’s weird for a host not to show up. I and others understood that you hosted a virtual party for your birthday not that she did.

In this new context it’s weird and unkind for her to not show up. I’d not say it’s ghosting though, ghosting would be not even getting back to you. She did contact you. But not showing up is bizarre if she the one set it up

Listen, it’s understandable you are upset. Someone invited me and others over and then we all show up but the host isn’t there, I’d be upset too!

It’s just perhaps the intensity of it seems extreme. We are who are and you previously shared how your reactions are very strong and often out of proportion.

Again some people are intense in their reactions, i get it. But in a long scheme of things how important is it that this person attends your virtual birthday party? In a long scheme of things how intense reactions help you to be happy and successful in life? I’d take focus of her for a moment and focus on my own feelings and needs. Clearly she isn’t the kind of person you want as a friend then it’s ok to drop her. No need to be friends if you find her behavior unacceptable. But if it’s the first time she showed lack of consideration then maybe after you calm down, you’d reconsider. Either way is acceptable in my opinion

Oh I see you already dropped her. Looks like it’s resolved. Hope your other friends stay in the group. I wonder what they’d think of her not being part of group anymore