Is there one? Today the oldest daughter(20) started yelling at her mom in our bedroom and i was so angry! My gf took the day off work cause she is really sick and then she gets yelled at by her daughter for not feeling well enough to do some chore. Im always told holding in anger is a bad thing. From experience expressing it is a bad thing too tho. I shook my head and she noticed and made some snotty remark. I told her to get out of my room and my heart almost exploded. So now im even MORE angry. So what is the right answer? Holding it in supposedly is part of the problem of my crazyness. Expressing it tho makes me feel a million times worse. I dont even regret anything i said but the stress of actually saying something was just awful.

So what would have been the mentally healthy way to handle things. Here is the situation. My girlfriend calls out sick today(im sick too) and we just were sickly sitting around. Earlier in the day the youngest wanted her mom to do this one thing for her and gf had to explain that she really was feeling sick and in a lot of pain. The youngest has her tantrum anyway. Im having a particularly bad day so im hiding in the bedroom and the oldest walks in and starts lecturing my gf like she is the mom. I shake my head and she makes a snotty remark. Now what i did was basically say go away and dont come back. Lol i think i actually did say and dont come back as she was leaving. If i was sane what is the proper response when she made the snotty comment from noticing me shaking my head(i think she said "im not talking to you" or something like that, which isnt so bad but it was her trademark when she was a teen). What i really wanted to say was full of evilness and manipulation. Something like "You know i get nervous around arguing, im already hiding in my bedroom instead of out in the living room. Cant you have some consideration for me?" or words to that effect but of course during the panic of the situation my mind doesnt come out that clean. Least i didnt say the things that i know hurt and have the urge to use. Im proud of that at least.

What are some things i can do to not totally freak out when arguing is happening in front of me and there is no escape? Like today the kid was standing in the door and there is no place to hide better than my own bedroom anyway. I didnt wanna have to push past her as i was so pissed and im so much bigger i didnt feel comfortable doin that. If there is a huge fight goin on i feel like im about to break down and either start bawling or destroy every human in a 7 block area. My adrenaline starts pumping so hard and my heart beat follows suit. I have trouble thinking and my breathing gets shallow and its even hard to keep talking. I need some kind of way to escape from the moment tho or i am goin to lose it big time and be here posting how i told the oldest kid she was every horrible name in the book. I even try to release the anger afterwards by writing but even that doesnt work sometimes. I had the idea of stabbing out my ears with a pen but im pretty sure that would get me a one way ticket to the state psych hospital. For ways to cope healthy unhealthy anything that works is good enough.