If your husband has a history of being violent, you could call for police supervision. The police will come by - usually 2 officers - and they will simply stand by while you remove things from the residence you share with your husband. I had to do that once when I was leaving an aparrment I shared with another female. She had some sort of mental breakdown and started messing with my belongings. The police were very helpful at calming things down. They even told me to call them when I would be going back to get the remainder of my things. It seems to me they would rather prevent violence than have to be called after violence has started.
If you are on good terms with your children, it might be best to talk with them before dealing with your husband. Maybe one of them could stand by, while you pack up some of your stuff. Prioritize things of concentrated value like gold jewelry and important documents like your birth certificate.
This sounds like a touchy situation, depending on how violent your husband is prone to getting. Do you have assets you own jointly - like a bank account? You might want to remove your share of the funds before telling your husband that the marriage is over. It might be good to sit down with an attorney before doing anything.
If your husband has ever been physically assaultive towards you, then you must take great care to insure your safety. You need not tell him immediately that you are leaving permanently. Don't even give him the address of your new apartment quite yet. Initially, you could just say you need to be away for a while to sort out some things that are troubling you. Don't start telling him that he's been a bad husband. Don't criticize him, and don't get drawn into an argument. Take care of yourself.
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