Quote:
Originally Posted by Job 30 26
I feel you. I tormented myself for years because I wanted something I use to have. But my reality is that I have a new normal. Learning something or writing something helps keep my mind active though, I need an active mind. It helps me become whole.
How's your focus lately? You mention your thirst for philosophy often. What's the best way for you to digest information?
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I've been doing great - My focus is amazing (Compared to how it was when I was abusing the ADHD med or buying methylphenidate/amphetamine analogues).
As long as I take the ADHD med as prescribed, I have the FREEDOM... to do anything. The way I digest information is just CONSTANT learning.. I don't stop. Videos, articles, books, podcasts..
After spending all day after work doing these things, I watched a video yesterday, I realized that (An estimation of?) what I don't know about how deep things can get (Illuminati?) is 100x+ more than I realize (I'll send you the video on messenger).
One of my research chemical friends, he said "This woman has escaped from *****ute" - So there's some real nonsense out there.. Like QnON or what ever. It's incredible nonsense that I can't get into because I'd go insane.
I felt like my mind broke last night - I was lacking sleep. I slept for ~15 hours.
I woke up, it was sunny, made coffee and tried to make sense of things - There's a lot of consuming of information (Maybe to make up for consuming drugs). Things will get better (I hope).
I'm just scared about the spots on my skin and the vaccine, what is happening with world take over. I need to prioritize everything that I do - Cuz I feel like things won't last. I have a lot of FOMO and can't just relax or stop being 100% hard on myself. I'd like to learn about philosophy but I'm doing it in ways of updating my mind, identity, reality.
I'm not sure if (My sister for example) likes to experience new things (Travelling the world) compared to how I do it (Travelling in my mind)..
I'm pulled in so many directions but it's OK.