I did not take vraylar this morning. My pdoc called and said to switch back to twice a week to see if that helps alleviate the stomach issues. I was nauseous driving to and from work despite the Dramamine. I still have pain. However it is the unfortunate truth that vraylar takes a good two to three weeks to get out of the system. Hopefully by just reducing the timetable it will help but it may not help quickly. We’ll just have to see.

I plunged pretty suddenly and deeply into depression as I was cooking dinner. But I am hormonal and that is often the way for me at this time of the month so I’m not overly concerned at the moment.

I’m feeling incredibly out of place at work. I like my team but I feel like they don’t like me, which I’m sure is not true. I’m very guarded about what I reveal about myself even though all of us have trauma in some form. I just know that two of them are huge gossips. The biggest one casually dropped that her best friend (another coworker) had been out recently because of a “mental breakdown”. I think we’ve all had those but I dunno, I don’t need her spreading my business around the school. That happened to me at my very first school, and a student heard and used it against me. Also EVERYONE knew my first husband died of an overdose even though I only ever told one person. I don’t feel like going through that again.

Cheeto gets ever thinner and now he’s looking pretty raggedy, oily coat with a lot of dandruff, like he’s not taking care of himself. He’s eating like we never feed him though! I always hear him crunching away in there and the bowls are emptying faster than ever. When I turn on the bathtub faucet he drinks like he hasn’t drink in days. Turns out they don’t like the fountain, of course. They like the still water bowl as long as it’s cleaned and filled with fresh water twice a day.

I’m honestly afraid to call the vet. What if he says there’s nothing left to do? I can’t stand seeing Cheeto like this but at the same time he’s his normal self behavior wise. Active, affectionate, always walking around with his tail up. I just don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll call and seek advice tomorrow.