Hi Shay,

I used to have your reaction to arguing of any kind. I'd hide anywhere to keep from confrontation. When I could not escape, I would shake so hard that people noticed and I sobbed.

Through meds and lots and lots of counseling I can now take up for myself quite well. There is a book about boundries which helped me so much. I'l try to get the title for you.

It helps you understand that you are a good person and completely justified in your anger and do not have to let people fight around you.

In short, if you have to, write a note to express what you need to say. If you can't hand it to the person, leave it where she will find it and say that you will not, under any circumstances, discuss it with her.

As for what you wanted to say to your daughter; she deserved it and more. You were entirely justified in your thoughts. Truly.

If I can ever help you, just let me know.

January