Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
When you say “family has to come before beach house” I’d agree if he said he booked beach house for himself or to do drinking with some guys, then I agree. But beach house is his family outing, he booked it for a family. So he is really not prioritizing beach house. He planned something for his family. Perhaps he prioritizes immediate family over extended. That’s not uncommon and I don’t see how it makes him shallow
If you want everyone to attend big events like weddings or graduations. you plan like a year in advance but even then you might have people unable to attend. Typically graduations are not attended by 100%. It’s not uncommon for people being unable to attend
Your feelings are valid. Intensity of your anger is a little unusual though and it makes me think there is more to the story. You shared ongoing difficult relationship with your own and your husbands family members and with other people (neighbors classmates friends etc etc) before. maybe there is general animosity in the families and in your circles or maybe there is something else at play
|
Divine....thanks for your input. My anger comes from the fact that my brother, himself, has always placed a lot of emphasis on family gatherings. For example, we all recently got together at a restaurant for a pre-Christmas family lunch. Both my husband and my sister's husband were not able to attend but the rest of us all did. My brother was mad that our husbands were not there. They had a valid reason, work travel. But my brother took it personally saying "I guess I'm not good enough for them." I thought that was ridiculous! But then we remembered that my brother has always had a high expectation for attendance to family events. So when I got his rejection to my invitation to my daughter's HS graduation celebration (which I was sure he would attend) I was stunned and yes, Angry!!! I felt like, don't hold us to a high bar, then lower it for your self. And he's known for well over a year that my daughter was a senior in HS. He's asked where she wants to go to college. So why did the thought not enter his mind about us having a graduation party?? He should have known better! And as I said previously, I've been at every one of his child's events. He'll probably never see my child again after HS graduation as kids begin their adult lives so the graduation family get together is even more important in that regard. But hey, that's fine. I'll let it go. I won't forget though. People show you how to treat them. I'll be placing much less importance on his events from here on out. As he showed me!