We all want great family relationships, closeness and fantasy of everyone getting along. The reality sadly isn’t like this even in best of families.

Yet we want to continue creating an illusion of this ideal family. Ideal family that doesn’t exist.

Going by what you shared there is a lot of resentment and distance in your relationship with your brother. Even the way you speak about him. There’s also no particular closeness between him and your daughter as you don’t even anticipate him seeing her in adulthood.

Yet you don’t want to accept that this isn’t ideal family situation (and it’s normal to be in denial) and just enjoy what’s there. It could be always worse. You could have no family. Instead you have imperfect one. I’ll take imperfect.

You can choose to remain angry and plot a revenge or you could choose to accept the situation the way it is and enjoy what’s there: let them send the gift, enjoy the party, chill and focus on your daughters future.