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lovethesun
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 341
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Default Jan 16, 2022 at 12:59 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by poshgirl View Post
Your brother is certainly displaying double standards, but it's not unusual. Siblings can be the worst for recognising the value of family relationships.

Relating to my own experiences, has he always been like that or has it happened when he got married (for instance). My brother changed when he married for the second time. She controls and tries that behaviour on family too. For ages, he couldn't be bothered to do jobs for our mother, because he was too busy helping his in-laws.

He recently told me to wind my neck in when I contested something he said about me. I know where the comment had originated but this made me more wary of him. Unfortunately, he's adopted the attitude of both his wife and stepdaughter, who think you should tolerate unacceptable behaviour because of everything they've done for you. What they've conveniently forgotten is time spent packing up for their move while new niece was in hospital, then helping with decorating in new house (amongst other things).

Sorry I've taken over this thread but wanted to give you an example of that type of behaviour. If your brother feels it's more important to take a holiday, then that's his choice. It would be better if you don't react. Just because he's your brother, it doesn't mean you have to behave in the same way!

Enjoy your daughter's graduation and take pride in her achievements.
you bring up a good point poshgirl. My brother is married to a very toxic person. His wife is a witch and I'm convinced she has a forked tongue. She has caused my brother's personality to change, and his relationship with me, my sister and my mother has changed alot too. My dad was handicapped from a stroke for several years, my brother had to be forced to come up just to cut my dad's hair. After my dad passed away, my mom needed help as a widow. My brother hardly ever came. It was always my husband or my sister's husband that helped her. My mom developed a terrible alcohol addiction (I posted about it here) and my brother NEVER helped! Not even once! He lives 3 blocks away from the detox center I had to put my mom in. I live 40 minutes away from it. My brother would not pick her up the day she was discharged. My husband and I had to leave work and drive 40 minutes to go pick her up. My brother's wife does not like us. So that's definitely part of the problem. But if my brother and his wife expect all of us to attend their events, then he needs to afford the same consideration to us when we plan something.
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