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Mendingmysoul
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Member Since: Aug 2019
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Default Jan 16, 2022 at 03:31 PM
 
Yep,this kind of double standards result in our enlightenment and we introspect our relationships As we can't change others,we change and reevaluate ourselves. I did the same.I would like to give you a heads up.When we change our behaviour towards them,they immediately recognise it and rather than dwelling on or introspect what might have caused the change or if they might have contributed to it,they get passive aggressive. They have developed ..I would like to say..an addiction towards our niceness,that they get withdrawal symptoms, when they do not get the same treatment from us anymore.They never see their fault in this.They will react in a way with an underlined message....How dare you to make changes???
This happened to me.After not getting the invitation and then them not sharing the news that kid got accepted into a good college( I heard this from other resources anyways),I started to try not to bend over backwards for them.I politely rejected their proposal that they would like to come and stay for a week .It was the first time I ever said ..no.. to them in my entire life.And they turned passive aggressive.After saying no to them I waited to see if they ask me if some thing is going on with me.Maybe I am sick and can't take guests right now.There are so many possibilities, right???But they never asked the reason.They simply do not care.There reactions and behaviours have reinforced my thoughts...that this relationship was never reciprocal. For them it was never personal. It was for me always and they just took a free ride and enjoyed it as long as it lasted.They never cared enough to nurture the relationship.Once they realised I am onto them,they just dropped me like a hot potato.The first time I tried to put a boundary,their mask dropped.I wonder what happened to all that praise and adoration when they wanted something from me.LOL.I just wanted to share my experience, so that you will be prepared in case that happens. Sorry for the long post.
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