Easy – the way he makes you feel, insults and demeans you. You are, and feel, alone in the relationship.


In your own words:
* finally made the decision to confront, face, everything, the negatives, the bad

* [...] It’s only been a few days but we had some horrible arguments already [...] and I know it’s a risk

* I really want to process the past too of this bad quality, neglectful relationship

* when I open up, it’s no good

* [...] issue that I would like his help or support about. he just has horrible lack of empathy

* and then there is a real bad argument – esp. with issue relation to as you say “with my disability so it is a sensitive topic too”

* Then he got horrible, saying “if it always happens to you then you’re the one who got the problem”

* [...] when I got upset... He tried to call me crazy and laughed in a **** way at me and said other stuff

* The next day he still tried to randomly insult me with another really demeaning word [...] It was just that bad

* [...] a few days later I tried to be extra kind wit him [...] and he ignored it and he went on being the same angry and antagonistic

* Then a couple days later he would berate me for long minutes for a blocked toilet?! He repeatedly blamed me for it ... Not even a word of concern

* I did not eat lunch or dinner and he would not help me get food ... Then he blamed me

* If I ask him to do something for me [...] he automatically goes “No”

* I would have to deal with the pain and hurt inside

* Otherwise he neglects me in general

* He never smiles at me anymore ... He is social with friends but not with me

* And it is stupid how starved I am for a smile. Or attention. Or laughing together, joking together, go out and do things together... He neglects me in social situations too

* I cannot let him go on another tirade of accusations and blame about the smallest thing


This relationship seems mostly about lack of empathy, insults, anger and blame thrown at you, lack of communication, lack of care and respect, heaping abuse onto you... which you seem to be accepting as ‘normal’.

That is not an average relationship gone bad.