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Old Jan 16, 2022, 08:45 PM
Anonymous49105
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Sometimes I feel like a forgotten person. I have some friends, and I have my Mom, but usually I am alone. I've stopped dreaming of what I want to be when I grow up. I am supposed to be taking a medical records course in a couple weeks. I don't want to. I like the idea of it...but that's it. I'm not interested. I need more purpose. I need more close relationships in my life. How do I do this? I'm sick of feeling so blah. I'm sick of feeling so scared. I'm sick of not knowing what I want in life. I am sick of making decisions, and then being unsure, and then...changing my mind. I can't make anymore decisions. I don't know what I want to be. And I'm usually only able to use my imagination to torture myself. I am sick of being alone. It just seems like there is so much to change. So many things I need to work on. I get overwhelmed. And don't want to do any of it. I...I think I missed the boat for having a family, and kids. I never wanted kids until now. It's an empowering realization. I also want a male partner and a career. But most of all, I want to be happy. I may not be able to control whether I can have kids now, which honestly, I don't want to birth a child, just have one...or if I can meet someone, I may not be able to control that. And I keep thinking...I should be able to do something with my life that I enjoy. I do not think I will enjoy medical records. Of course, I'm taking the course to find out more. But yeah. I am really sick of not working. And I am sick of being a ghost of a person who no one really knows or remembers. I need to start my life and I am scared.

Last edited by Anonymous49105; Jan 16, 2022 at 09:12 PM.
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