Not feeling the best today. I have a mild headache but I think it's just the weather and changes in temperature. My mom had me burning up all night and I couldn't get comfortable. You know the scenario -- tossing and turning, stopped up nose, dry heat driving you mad... and all day I've been freezing, but the sinus-like issues have resolved. I took some excedrine and I should be fine in a hour or so. I do suffer from headaches a lot, and quite easily -- but as long as it doesn't become a migraine I will be fine (but I do have meds for that if it were to happen, so I am prepared!)

I can't seem to get a hold of my therapist.. I may never get my appointment rescheduled. She typically likes to take care of her scheduling (instead of the clinic), but she was supposed to get back to me on Friday with a time but didn't. I know it's only Monday and she probably doesn't check that email on weekends, but I am just worried about getting an appointment. I'm already in a "I want to just stop doing therapy" mood anyway and if I'm indulged, I probably will. I'm trying to fight that the best I can. If I don't hear back by the end of the day. I'll call the clinic and schedule through them.

I am feeling a bit lonely today. I don't have people in my life that I talk to or hang out with, and most of the time that is perfectly fine but then days come along like today where I really did wish I had someone to just chat with. I will be OK, I'll use the tools and resources I have to fill the void -- play a game, watch TV, or if I really just get the urge-- I'll join a chatroom (perhaps here on MSF) to just talk a bit. I can always find some way for social interaction.

Throwing out a question for everyone, but I am not expecting an response. Feel free to if you want, but it's really just for yourself and to ponder as you go through your day. Everything in life is a balancing act it seems and it's hard to ever have everything in balance. I don't just mean managing your life, but I mean your ability to do it on your own. Yes, autonomy and responsibility for yourself are major parts of that, but understanding you are unable to do it all alone is important. You need others and things to collaborate and help -- whether it be a doctor, a friend, a medicine, etc. It's easy to get caught up in the idea that we, despite being social creatures, are expected to deal with everything alone is almost silly when you lay it out. Again, it's a balancing act. So the question is -- have you really considered how much you allow others to help you in your life? If so, how did you decide it was the appropriate balance for you? If not -- could you use a little more help? Could you be a little more autonomous?

For me -- I'm bad about not giving myself slack for not being able to "fix me" without outside help. Without medicine or a doctor, without therapy etc. To answer my own question -- I need to be a little more open to receiving support and help from others. I know the profound relief one can receive from a community (like a support forum) which is why I am here.. but as you all know i don't use it to its advantage all the time. Just food for thought -- quality of life is subjective but we sometimes become stagnant even if we are unhappy. It's always good to re-evaluate the situation and see if improvement can be made. I think all of us, by culture and nature, tend to have some aversion to asking for help or involving others. I 'd say my issue there is a bit more extreme than average -- but I'm working on it. Just thought I'd share my thoughts there.

Another day where I feel generally OK -- and to recap, OK is a good term for me. It's not unnaturally high, and it's not low. It's where I probably should be generally on any given day and I am grateful for that.