At the moment I can only think of flippant labels like, "What we've all learned to do, all the time". Oh, and I've heard it described as living in the "story" we tell ourselves. And yes, "mindfulness" seems to be the umbrella term for many different variations on focusing on what's so for us here and now.

As I recall, the other poster seemed to be asking why discipline and determination didn't always seem to get her where she wanted to go. I suggested looking at (for example) how she knew that was where she wanted to go.

While "getting things flowing" could be a way to describe the process in hindsight, if you were to focus on "I want to get things flowing" it would be no different from "I want to break through that wall [that my therapist apparently can see but I can't]". In either case you're dealing with something that you experience only in the form of a concept or story; for instance, if you decide to believe you must have a wall, can you then point to it or describe what it looks like, feels like, sounds like, smells like? If you decide you don't want to have a wall and you try to resist it -- stop thinking about it, or move it aside, or chop a hole in it, or shatter it with cannon fire -- any of those would most likely just make the concept of the wall more, not less, real for you.
As for how it could be "harmful", here's one way I imagine it.


Suppose that someone, perhaps in collusion with a therapist or other authority, were to agree that they really did have a wall and that their job was to break through that wall at any cost. How might they go about determining (and informing their therapist) if they were succeeding at their task or not?

Possibility 1: Everything goes wonderfully well, just like in a storybook. Client quickly discovers that they have no need for a wall and never did, ships the rubble off to the landfill, and goes on to live happily ever after.

Possibility 2: Client struggles to get rid of their wall but it not only won't budge, it actively defies their efforts. The more they struggle with it, the taller and harder and thicker it grows. Therapist tells client what client already suspects: that they're not trying hard enough. Client redoubles their efforts and wall responds by growing even taller, harder, and thicker.

Possibility 3: Client hears or reads somewhere that it's dangerous to break down walls before one is ready. Client decides it's all the therapist's fault but therapist will have none of it. To underscore their point, client goes on a rampage in the streets, scares numerous horses, gets sectioned and written up in the tabloids. Upon being released, client embarks on a new career as poster child for the proposition that it's dangerous to break down walls.


Or: regardless of whether or not you think one or the other would work better for you -- what your experience has been with them.

I'm afraid I don't know enough about whom therapy is or isn't for, to agree or disagree. For me the bottom line is: do what works for you.

I knew that I could have carefully evaluated the situation according to whatever "rules" I was using to determine when to act and when not to...

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away, know when to run...

-- The Gambler (Kenny Rogers, 1978)

... and steered clear, perhaps regretfully, if that was what the rules dictated; or else pushed myself into a situation I personally wasn't entirely comfortable with, just because I "needed" the practice.

What made it a win for me was that I discovered I'd proceeded not according to what I "should" do, but according to what I found I was (or wasn't) willing to do -- and that I'd been willing to accept the outcome, whatever it might be. I've also heard that called, "First I win, then I play."

Oh, by all means! When you do, though, I hope you'll illustrate as clearly as you can, what the idea of "vulnerability" does (and/or doesn't) mean to you.