My Support Forums - View Single Post

sarahsweets · Jan 19, 2022, 05:22 AM

Aw man @WovenGalaxy that is a lot to have percolating in your head, you must feel exhausted sometimes!

Quote:

I need more purpose. I need more close relationships in my life. How do I do this?

Do you need more purpose as in employment and coworker friends? Or do you mean something more altruistic?

Quote:

I am sick of being alone. It just seems like there is so much to change. So many things I need to work on. I get overwhelmed.

What is one thing you think you need to change and one you think you need to work on?

And don't want to do any of it.

Quote:

I never wanted kids until now. It's an empowering realization. I also want a male partner and a career. But most of all, I want to be happy. I may not be able to control whether I can have kids now, which honestly, I don't want to birth a child, just have one...or if I can meet someone, I may not be able to control that. And I keep thinking...I should be able to do something with my life that I enjoy.

I am not saying this is you but do you think your desire for the "typical" kids and a man is truly YOUR desire? Is it possible its maybe some of your desire mixed in with societal expectations and what society says we should want?

Quote:

I do not think I will enjoy medical records. Of course, I'm taking the course to find out more. But yeah. I am really sick of not working.

Are you taking the course so you can work and earn money? Was it one of those " well it might as well be medical records" I know we all need money but are you absolutely desperate with no help at all?

Quote:

And I am sick of being a ghost of a person who no one really knows or remembers. I need to start my life and I am scared.

I totally get the feeling of being a ghost that no one remembers. Whether its true or not its still gotta hurt your soul a lot.

I do not have the ultimate solution but I have one that has paid off 100 fold or more. Volunteer. Give the gift of your time. And I dont mean twice a year at the soup kitchen or ringing the salvation army bell at Christmas. I mean something that will make a small,tiny difference all the way up to a huge one. I have all sorts of referrals and resources for this. I will check what state you are in and you can pm me if you want.
It doesnt have to be elaborate or even cost money. It doesnt have to be something that anyone knows about(the best kind!) and ideally it would involve at the very least another person (often many) and since the common goal is the same- feel better by doing better- youre more likely to meet genuine like-minded people. I have always been a "helper" sort of person but the door officially opened when I got sober. Yes all the AA stuff and helping other alcoholics is something the 12 steps promotes- it became something that moved my soul so deeply that I have never experienced anything else like it. There are no "requirements" like time or how much/many types of things you do. IN FACT if you are involved doing something and you are surrounded by people who talk about what they have done, how much time, etc I urge you to move along for some 'real' people. If you have to brag about it then you are in it for the ego strokes and for ways to prop up your waning self esteem.
And if you are someone with SA issues or feel awkward I promise it will get easier.

I want to highlight this one thing: I dont mean people should volunteer so they can see how "poor" or bad other people have it and then sigh in relief that their lives dont suck like that. No comparisons are welcome or needed. This is about one human showing love, compassion and empathy for another human. Almost like-(whatever you believe a soul is)- If one soul intuitively knew and felt the other souls' pain, heartache and sorrow along with their joy, contentment and peace all at once; with no words, just feelings- to me that is how I see and feel about giving my time or resources. Maybe I am not making sense....

I guess I mean a human to human kindness and connection needs no words....

Anyhow I could go on an on or toot my own horn but if you want to discuss this more pm me. xxxooo
-sweets