Dear Woven:
I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I was feeling this way in my early thirties. It was such a "stuck" feeling.

We tell ourselves everybody else has got it so great. But scratch the surface, and you find an awful lot of people, even though they "have it all", are secretly very unhappy/ disillusioned/ overwhelmed in their lives. So, resist the urge to compare yourself with others, and what they "have" or "don't have". That's a huge waste of energy and time.

After a series of disastrous and self-esteem-threatening relationships, I gave up looking, and concentrated on other things in my life. I was no dummy; but I just never seemed to meet the right people. Even smart women can be fooled! I came to the conclusion that I needed to learn to be my own best friend, and to give myself the validation and courtesies I had been doling out, very generously, to the wrong people for so long.

The details tend to work themselves out, when your priorities are in the right place, believe it or not.

Wishing you the best on your journey!